As a mother of a 16 month old baby girl, I'm a little nervous about getting her used to going back out to restaurauants and cafes once they open after lockdown. Before lockdown she was a crawler and has, during lockdown, learnt to walk/run. I would always try to make sure I would take her to a cafe to keep myself going out and her to get used to being out and sitting in her pram. Although she would scream and throw her toys round the cafe from boredom- I felt that at least it was her being used to the car seat and her pram. Now I am a bit scared of how she will behave in these kind of places and really feel that she'll have a tantrum now that shes becoming more aware and more demanding... Any tips from fellow mums about how they might re-train their kids to sit in a cafe/restaraunt? Maybe tips in general? When do they start understanding discipline? How do I discipline a 16 month old- is it even possible at this stage?
 

3 Comments

  • FVaid

    23/06/2020

    OMG the struggle is real! I can testify to that having taken my 19month old to Marks and Spencers the other day! I forgot he hadn't been around random people in months and that it was a more confined space. Challenge 1: he wanted to say 'hi' to everyone he saw; 'Hi Dada (to every older man), hi Nani (to every older women...or any women! ;)) And this in his mind had to include a handshake! Challenge 2: he wanted to walk...in every direction!! Forget about arrows on the floor. We haven't mastered him holding my hand yet- because he hasn't had to. At the park we avoid people and he can just run around freely. So I think it was strange for him to hear 'hold my hand'. Challenge 3: he wanted to touch everything!! aaaaargh....germs!! Thankfully we managed to avoid a full grown tantrum but only with: - Distraction - Snacks - Using the 2m markings as a game... we walked to the next one and I said 'stop' and we stopped..then the next...then the next.. then the next! - Instead of holding my hand- he held one strap of a bag, and I held the other, and we walked together! Tips for restaurants; obviously choose the right time to go so you're not waiting ages etc, and make sure you have back up snacks in case food is taking long, or feed your little one before you go! So at least she's happy and fed, and can just be a part of the experience! This is how they learn. But above all I would say- don't worry what others think! For those who've had kids- they understand. For all those who don't- they probably 'get it' too. So don't be embarrassed - your child is doing what a child is supposed to! And if anyone does look/tut/say something.... then do what you must. I remember saying to one lady- 'I'm doing the best I can- if you want to be helpful, you can leave so that my kids can enjoy a rare afternoon out!' She was livid- and so was I...but I wasn't going to give up my time out when it had taken us the whole morning to leave the house!!

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  • Anonymous

    22/06/2020

    My advice would be to not be afraid of taking very young children outdoors, especially where they are most likely to 'play up' and create a scene. From my experience I had two young children close together and I was just so afraid of taking them out anywhere. I would opt for an easy way, staying at home or trying out open spaces like parks where the children could have more of a say on what they did. This led to them not having the discipline required to be well behaved in places like cafes, restaurants or friends' homes. They were alien lands for my children. Even playgroup was embarrassing because I could not get them to do what the other children were doing. I just remembered them crying all the time. I didn't make this mistake a few years on when their siblings were born. I took them everywhere with me from birth onwards!! It wasnt hard at all, they could fit into all scenarios as they had been doing early on in their lives. They were happy and playful at all times.. yes they would tire and want a cuddle but it wasnt anywhere near as stressful. So I would strongly recommend starting early, and if you think it's too late, keep going out with them, as regularly as possible. Children will eventually give in to discipline once they see that parents will follow through with their rules.

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  • NazminA

    22/06/2020

    I have no advice. I am just here to watch what others with good advice have to say because I have never been able to discipline my child. I tell her off in a stern voice but all that does is makes her cry and cause a bigger scene through crying. Only thing I will say is, if it is any consolation, that it does get better with time and eventually they realise causing a scene isn't going to get them anywhere. So even though it seems like saying 'no' isn't making a difference now, I like to think that it does help set boundaries of right and wrong that are eventually adhered to (even if it takes another 18 months to really kick in....) Good luck!

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