Given the pain, fear and confusion involved around the pronunciation of talaq, I really wish we could get universal consensus on the point now. The validity really does seem to vary depending on the Islamic school of thought or scholar or Imam and I just wish we could come to some sort of agreement now.
I'm by no means a scholar but I'm breaking down my understanding of the situation if that helps:
First part is whether a talaq can be validly pronounced in anger. Typically the views vary - some think that the anger needs to be at extreme levels (such that it can be argued that you temporarily lost your mind/senses) on the basis that if you understood what you were doing/saying at the time then it is valid; whilst others think you cannot pronounce talaq in anger at all as you need to be in a rational frame of mind when making a decision to divorce (because it is such a serious issue). I feel that in all cases though it comes down to intention; to what extent did they really mean it, did they understand what they were saying etc?
Second part is, if a talaq pronounced in anger is valid, does it count as 1 talaq or 3? Personally I think that even if someone pronounced 3 talaqs in one go then it only counts as one and I know some schools of thought agree with this but there is of course those who believe 3 talaqs pronounced at once are still 3 separate talaqs. I feel this is contrary to what the Quran says which clearly specifies a cooling off period. It is also interesting to note that instant talaq is referred to as Talaq-E-Bidaat by scholars, thus accepting its an innovation. It is certainly not a good innovation so it does make you wonder why its not allowed (!)
Certainly seek advice to put your mind at ease but hope this helps. What I would like to add is that it may worth thinking about whether it is even worth wanting to stay with someone that can pronounce talaq at a whim. I know its not easy but it cant be good to live in such a fragile situation. No one should live in fear of finding themselves divorced overnight because their husband got angry about something.
Sometimes people can say things in anger and then feel remorse once they have calmed down. So when it comes to divorce and a man issues a divorce, hence why it is staged i.e. it is pronounced in stages over a three month period allowing reconciliation during that time period. Unfortunately some men pronounce all three talaqs instantly. Scholars differ in their opinion on whether this counts as the final divorce or whether the three instant ones just count as one as they all pronounced together. So if wisdom of Islam is followed there should be a cooling off period which Islam had built in. However, best to always check with religious experts - but there again opinion will differ on who one goes too so ultimately may come down to what makes sense to someone personally when deciding or unless they are particular on following all rulings from a school of thought they follow. When a woman initiates divorce it takes much longer so there is plenty of time to reconcile.
Raise your voice and get connected