Now that I'm in my early 20s I know A LOT of people who are thinking about marriage, or who have already gone ahead with it (and have beautiful families as a result!). I've always known that I would never get married, it isn't something I find "appealing" but having to justify myself to everyone can be annoying. For me, I don't see it as something I have to do or even need to do. I've got an education, a job, an amazing set of friends and family and I'm happy with that. I totally respect those that do but it shouldn't be an expectation on every young person. Even from an Islamic perspective, it's a Sunnah! Why do some Muslims bang on about it as if it's the first pillar of Islam!? It's also ironic hearing guys talk about their marriage prospects and wanting to "complete half their Deen" when the first half is barely there. It feels like they have this completely unrealistic view of marriage which can be soo damaging in the long run. 

The same argument is used whenever I voice this opinion, "what about children!"....are we really going to pretend as though other options don't exist? Adoption being one in particular! Not only is it extremely rewarding, but it is also encouraged in Islam. Why is that always overlooked?

I'm not sure if it's the same for anyone else out there, but I find that most Muslim girls my age aren't interested in marriage anyway? Perhaps we've woken up and realised that  we can lead a fulfilling life without the need of it. I hope our generation will stop pressuring youngsters into marriage or even having the "talk" with them as soon as they're done with their education (I can't believe this actually happens!). It's 2021 - I understand it was done in the past more so for financial gains or improving the quality of life of some women, but we've come a long way since then. For those who want to pursue it and have always fantasised about their 'big day', fair enough. But let's stop placing this expectation on everyone else

What do you think? Am I being too harsh or is it justified? 


  • Yasmin Begum


    It's really interesting to read this post. I find myself feeling very relatable to this and your choice should always be your choice there is only you, so be your truest self. I have full respect for those who do want to marry and raise children however those that want something different by no means are incomplete people. I've faced various criticising comments and as I've gotten older I had to learn to make peace with it. Glad to say I'm content with my choice unmarried but living my truest self at 36

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  • Anonymous


    I never really thought about different options- and honestly, I feel like your post has given me some perspective. Because I certainly dont want my children to think their only option in life is marriage. I also think, we make such big celebrations out of weddings, but, wouldnt it be great to make huge celebrations out of acheivements such as graduating with a degree? Because I feel like anyone can meet someone for the sake of marriage, but not everyone can get a degree. I think its time we started focusing our attention on the acheivements onf women rather than when a woman gets married....

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