I had always struggled with certain aspects of my previous spiritual path, particularly the idea of reincarnation into animals. 

I was floored, left spiritually depleted and confused by a pattern I couldn't understand. My lifelong search for answers continued. I was training with monks and nuns on the Buddhist path, traveling abroad and attending sessions on weekends, learning incredible lessons focused on purifying my mind and heart. Yet, a part of me still felt a void. "I believe in God," I'd tell myself, "and this training is wonderful, but there's something missing. What is it?"

 

I believe that God was guiding me all along, and one day, I felt called to call my local mosque. I was told to come on a Friday, unaware it was the day of Jummah prayer. I found a scarf, went to the mosque, and listened from a small cubicle in the back. The teachings were about patience and compassion, and they felt instantly familiar.

 

After the prayer, I met the Imam, who introduced me to the life of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (PBUH). At that moment, the final piece of my puzzle fell into place. When I learned about the Prophet PBUH, the way he treated women, and the structured, logical construct of life in Islam, everything finally made sense.

Islam gave me a profound framework to understand the patterns in my life. It contextualised the existence of both good and evil, and it provided a clear path to navigate the challenges I had faced. The concept of divine justice and a life of purpose became my guiding light.

Alhamdulillah, I took my Shahada, marking the end of my lifelong search and the beginning of my true journey. However, the abuse didn't stop. It continued to show up in my muslim marriages in the form of spiritual abuse, but I now understand that Allah was shaping my heart to heal and understand the balance of self-preservation and giving, compassion and wisdom. It wasn't easy; my daughter became sick for years, my eldest daughter followed the same patterns in abusive relationships, and my son was diagnosed with severe ADHD and confused identity.

 

It has been an extremely testing path, but the plan now makes sense. These trials have shown me that we really don't have control, only Allah does. There is a wisdom in these events that we cannot fully grasp, and true peace comes from learning to relinquish control, to truly surrender and submit. I feel incredibly blessed to have been guided to Islam, which has not only healed my heart, but has given me the spiritual foundation to understand and overcome every trial I've faced. 

My story is a testament to the fact that when you have faith, the divine will always guide you to the path of peace.